wow! look at me! i'm actually writing today's entry... today! (far too often i'm writing them in batches. you can usually tell if the date stamp is 11:59. :oD)
lots of highlights today... i finally made it to $1500!!!!!!!!!!!! and beyond. i'm halfway there. halfway. in less than a month. now... to up my goal to $4000? i haven't tapped facebook or my office out yet. and not a day without a ping.
my sister also just got accepted to grad school at lewis and clark! yay for her!
in conclusion, i also seriously want some animal style french fries from in-n-out right now. like, crazy bad. it all started after i saw "in & out smog check" on my way home yesterday and started thinking about in-n-out... and never really stopped.
...homer drool...
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Day Twenty Five- 2/20/09- pings: 1
Friday, February 20, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
harder
it's getting harder to write daily. is it really worth it?
i've been trying really hard to maintain a positive attitude about different things. whenever i am feeling grouchy or in a sour mood, i just sort of gentle cajole myself into thinking it's not that bad (because, of course, it isn't) and it's actually starting to work.
it used to be that whenever i'd wake up on the wrong side of the bed, i'd stay on that side for hours, days. now it's maybe a few hours.
so i guess, yes, it's worth it.
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Day Twenty Four- 2/19/09- pings: 1
i've been trying really hard to maintain a positive attitude about different things. whenever i am feeling grouchy or in a sour mood, i just sort of gentle cajole myself into thinking it's not that bad (because, of course, it isn't) and it's actually starting to work.
it used to be that whenever i'd wake up on the wrong side of the bed, i'd stay on that side for hours, days. now it's maybe a few hours.
so i guess, yes, it's worth it.
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Day Twenty Four- 2/19/09- pings: 1
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
lurtle?
another donation today!
...and a puppy who has completely destroyed that weird lion/turtle toy from a few days ago. i just might try to reassemble it from the shreds of fabric and fluff, because, seriously, this thing is hilariously monstrous.
it's like something that was on the drawing board for that scene in napoleon dynamite before they came up with "liger".
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Day Twenty Three- 2/18/09- pings: 1
...and a puppy who has completely destroyed that weird lion/turtle toy from a few days ago. i just might try to reassemble it from the shreds of fabric and fluff, because, seriously, this thing is hilariously monstrous.
it's like something that was on the drawing board for that scene in napoleon dynamite before they came up with "liger".
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Day Twenty Three- 2/18/09- pings: 1
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
old and new
i'm delighted, impressed, amazed and encouraged.
that within minutes of me posting today's daily plea on facebook for a donation, i receive one from an old high school friend.
i've had 33 people donate so far. how great is that?! 33 different, unique people that i've been able to share this journey with, been able to feel supported by.
i've got friends all over the country, all over the world. and it just makes me happy to see how many, close or not, old or new, are standing up to say "hey! i will help you!"
thank you.
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Day Twenty Two- 2/17/09- pings: 1
that within minutes of me posting today's daily plea on facebook for a donation, i receive one from an old high school friend.
i've had 33 people donate so far. how great is that?! 33 different, unique people that i've been able to share this journey with, been able to feel supported by.
i've got friends all over the country, all over the world. and it just makes me happy to see how many, close or not, old or new, are standing up to say "hey! i will help you!"
thank you.
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Day Twenty Two- 2/17/09- pings: 1
Monday, February 16, 2009
3 weeks in
so it's been 21 days since i started fundraising.
today my mom said she would like to raise all her money in the first month. that thought hadn't really occurred to me, but now that at offically at three weeks, it's occurring.
so far, i'm at $1397.70. less than a thousand dollars to raise, just to participate.
even if i don't raise it in a month, i really just want to continue on with the emphasis on getting a donation a day, which i've so far done quite successfully.
i still have lots of pledged donations (as in, i haven't gotten them yet) so hopefully those will be rolling in soon enough.
as it stands now, 2009 is proving to be a very change-filled year. perhaps inspired by the changing of the guard, but there are so many changes being made right now, and i'm hoping that they're permanent. there's never a better time to change than right this second, and i'm really focusing on fixing all of the things that i've let lapse over the past XX years. i've very rarely had a set-in-stone goal to work toward, like this walk, and i find that the dedication i'm giving to this walk and to my diet are influencing and encouraging me in other aspects of my life. i cannot wait to see how the rest of this year pans out.
one thing i won't change? the swooning over 'house'. back to t.v.!
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Day Twenty One- 2/16/09- pings: 1
today my mom said she would like to raise all her money in the first month. that thought hadn't really occurred to me, but now that at offically at three weeks, it's occurring.
so far, i'm at $1397.70. less than a thousand dollars to raise, just to participate.
even if i don't raise it in a month, i really just want to continue on with the emphasis on getting a donation a day, which i've so far done quite successfully.
i still have lots of pledged donations (as in, i haven't gotten them yet) so hopefully those will be rolling in soon enough.
as it stands now, 2009 is proving to be a very change-filled year. perhaps inspired by the changing of the guard, but there are so many changes being made right now, and i'm hoping that they're permanent. there's never a better time to change than right this second, and i'm really focusing on fixing all of the things that i've let lapse over the past XX years. i've very rarely had a set-in-stone goal to work toward, like this walk, and i find that the dedication i'm giving to this walk and to my diet are influencing and encouraging me in other aspects of my life. i cannot wait to see how the rest of this year pans out.
one thing i won't change? the swooning over 'house'. back to t.v.!
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Day Twenty One- 2/16/09- pings: 1
Sunday, February 15, 2009
taboo
another ping(*)! and some more ping pledges.
i am so close to $1400, which means i'm so close to $1500.
we went on another training walk, this time upping the mileage. i love walking up canyon drive, into the park. i think it's actually griffith park. what we realized, though, is that we should really just drive to the park and go walking/hiking on the trails, because by the time you've walked the mile-plus from our apartment to the park, you don't have as much energy to get a good hiking walk in.
but, perhaps more importantly, on our walk we met a person walking a puppy who informed us that we can access the o.g. batman bat caves on our route.
um, do i hear future birthday picnic in the bat caves complete with batman theme plates, napkins, invites, etc?
yes, yes that is what i hear.
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Day Twenty- 2/15/09- pings: 1
i am so close to $1400, which means i'm so close to $1500.
we went on another training walk, this time upping the mileage. i love walking up canyon drive, into the park. i think it's actually griffith park. what we realized, though, is that we should really just drive to the park and go walking/hiking on the trails, because by the time you've walked the mile-plus from our apartment to the park, you don't have as much energy to get a good hiking walk in.
but, perhaps more importantly, on our walk we met a person walking a puppy who informed us that we can access the o.g. batman bat caves on our route.
um, do i hear future birthday picnic in the bat caves complete with batman theme plates, napkins, invites, etc?
yes, yes that is what i hear.
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Day Twenty- 2/15/09- pings: 1
Saturday, February 14, 2009
floppy fantasy
happy lovely love day!
well, to be honest, i've never been the biggest valentine's day fan, and i also actually really love friday the 13ths, because they always turn out to be awesome days. and yesterday didn't let me down.
a while ago, i decorated the door to my apartment with various 3-day paraphernalia, with little notes to take if you want to donate. and today, adam came home and handed me a card that was taped to the door. my first apartment donation!! woo!
also, on a completely unrelated note, ralph's was having a clearance on dog toys, and i bought franklin a toy for $2.75 (it was once $10.99). what's important about this? it's the most disturbing toy. ever. it's a "lion", who only has front legs, and an abnormally long tail, his mouth is only on half of his face (kind of two-face, kind of smirking), AND it has a brown turtle shell pattern on the fur on his back. i'm not kidding. best part? the toy style is "floppy fantasy". google "hartz floppy fantasy lion" and there is like one image in existence. you can bet i'll add some more. mwhaha.
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Day Nineteen- 2/14/09- pings: 2
well, to be honest, i've never been the biggest valentine's day fan, and i also actually really love friday the 13ths, because they always turn out to be awesome days. and yesterday didn't let me down.
a while ago, i decorated the door to my apartment with various 3-day paraphernalia, with little notes to take if you want to donate. and today, adam came home and handed me a card that was taped to the door. my first apartment donation!! woo!
also, on a completely unrelated note, ralph's was having a clearance on dog toys, and i bought franklin a toy for $2.75 (it was once $10.99). what's important about this? it's the most disturbing toy. ever. it's a "lion", who only has front legs, and an abnormally long tail, his mouth is only on half of his face (kind of two-face, kind of smirking), AND it has a brown turtle shell pattern on the fur on his back. i'm not kidding. best part? the toy style is "floppy fantasy". google "hartz floppy fantasy lion" and there is like one image in existence. you can bet i'll add some more. mwhaha.
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Day Nineteen- 2/14/09- pings: 2
Friday, February 13, 2009
one and two
i'm so weird.
i'm changing the date on this entry, which i should've written last night, but was playing apples to apples in a hotel by the airport and didn't get home until 3 am. that sounds really seedy, but i really was just playing a card game with friends, in the hotel they are staying in.
there.
so, i received one "ping" at work, but it wasn't an online donation, and therefore my phone doesn't go "ping". but i said it to myself when i received it, so i'm still counting it as a ping. should i put an asterisk by it, like it's on steroids?
i also received a second donation while playing games in the hotel, but it was at like 1 am, so technically that's saturday. really, does it matter? i'm just killing time until snl starts.
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Day Eighteen- 2/13/09- pings*: 1
i'm changing the date on this entry, which i should've written last night, but was playing apples to apples in a hotel by the airport and didn't get home until 3 am. that sounds really seedy, but i really was just playing a card game with friends, in the hotel they are staying in.
there.
so, i received one "ping" at work, but it wasn't an online donation, and therefore my phone doesn't go "ping". but i said it to myself when i received it, so i'm still counting it as a ping. should i put an asterisk by it, like it's on steroids?
i also received a second donation while playing games in the hotel, but it was at like 1 am, so technically that's saturday. really, does it matter? i'm just killing time until snl starts.
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Day Eighteen- 2/13/09- pings*: 1
Thursday, February 12, 2009
just start.
hi, could i get an earl grey tea?
-sure, what size? and do you want one tea bag or two?
(rifling through my purse, looking for my wallet, realizing that as someone who worked at a starbucks in college, i should know the answer to the question i'm about to ask) um, does that change the price?
-is your name lauren?
i look up. i recognize him immediately. mario! my old work buddy from starbucks! we hug, we catch up. he moved from the 'sc starbucks to the one in hollywood, better tips, he says. i realize i didn't tip. i usually do. i should know better.
mario, jorge and i were buds during the months of my starbucks employment. we usually wound up closing together, and would hang out long after our shifts ended talking. both went to csula, both were very funny, sweet, smart. good people. then i quit starbucks to go home for summer break, and studied in italy, and then i came back but very rarely saw them, or the starbucks.
jorge is having a kid, he tells me. my eyes widen. wait! that's not what i meant to tell you, i meant to tell you he is becoming a cop. AND he's in law school. well done, jorge, i say. jorge, mario and i would often talk about inconsistencies in america's educational system, and one of jorge's dream was to start a foundation, the name escapes me now- something like "education without limitations", something like that, anyway, a foundation that would help encourage people in poverty to pursue higher education, and to financially support them. i always thought it sound like a great idea, and i guess he's still hoping to do it. mario is still at csula, almost graduated, studying anthropology and wants to get his ph d.
do i miss usc? did i like usc? he asks. yes, and no. i liked being in school, but the general "my father has a dealership" attitude i could do without.
i do miss being in school, actually, i say. i really miss being in school. everyone around me is going back to school, and i'm not. why not? he asks. well, i wouldn't know what to go for. i don't have anything that i want to study, i've never really known what it is i want to "do". so what's the point? i've thought about taking some classes at smc, because it's close to work, they have a lot to offer, and it's a reputable place.
just go, he says, just go. who cares if you don't know what you want to study. just take a class, and if you don't like it, stop going. just start.
he's so right. for too long i've not done anything about my situation, because i don't know how i want my situation to be. but knowledge and change can't be gained by sitting and humming and huh-ing, and thinking, boy it'd sure be nice if i knew what it is i want to do. the point is to just try different things until you find something that you think you might like to do for now.
---
i did my first "training walk" today. adam, franklin and i went two miles, and then played in the park that was our one mile marker. we climbed a tree. it felt really good, walking. i felt really happy. walking is something i would like to do for now.
---
i also got three big donations today, and am now at $1300. i still can't quite believe this. i've had some incredible people with incredible stories donate, and i just feel honored.
---
i've learned a lot today. i'm learning a lot about myself, doing this. i honestly didn't think that i would. what i thought i would (or would not) learn, i'm not sure.
but i'm glad i did this. i'm glad i decided to just go, to just start.
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Day Seventeen- 2/12/09- pings: 3
-sure, what size? and do you want one tea bag or two?
(rifling through my purse, looking for my wallet, realizing that as someone who worked at a starbucks in college, i should know the answer to the question i'm about to ask) um, does that change the price?
-is your name lauren?
i look up. i recognize him immediately. mario! my old work buddy from starbucks! we hug, we catch up. he moved from the 'sc starbucks to the one in hollywood, better tips, he says. i realize i didn't tip. i usually do. i should know better.
mario, jorge and i were buds during the months of my starbucks employment. we usually wound up closing together, and would hang out long after our shifts ended talking. both went to csula, both were very funny, sweet, smart. good people. then i quit starbucks to go home for summer break, and studied in italy, and then i came back but very rarely saw them, or the starbucks.
jorge is having a kid, he tells me. my eyes widen. wait! that's not what i meant to tell you, i meant to tell you he is becoming a cop. AND he's in law school. well done, jorge, i say. jorge, mario and i would often talk about inconsistencies in america's educational system, and one of jorge's dream was to start a foundation, the name escapes me now- something like "education without limitations", something like that, anyway, a foundation that would help encourage people in poverty to pursue higher education, and to financially support them. i always thought it sound like a great idea, and i guess he's still hoping to do it. mario is still at csula, almost graduated, studying anthropology and wants to get his ph d.
do i miss usc? did i like usc? he asks. yes, and no. i liked being in school, but the general "my father has a dealership" attitude i could do without.
i do miss being in school, actually, i say. i really miss being in school. everyone around me is going back to school, and i'm not. why not? he asks. well, i wouldn't know what to go for. i don't have anything that i want to study, i've never really known what it is i want to "do". so what's the point? i've thought about taking some classes at smc, because it's close to work, they have a lot to offer, and it's a reputable place.
just go, he says, just go. who cares if you don't know what you want to study. just take a class, and if you don't like it, stop going. just start.
he's so right. for too long i've not done anything about my situation, because i don't know how i want my situation to be. but knowledge and change can't be gained by sitting and humming and huh-ing, and thinking, boy it'd sure be nice if i knew what it is i want to do. the point is to just try different things until you find something that you think you might like to do for now.
---
i did my first "training walk" today. adam, franklin and i went two miles, and then played in the park that was our one mile marker. we climbed a tree. it felt really good, walking. i felt really happy. walking is something i would like to do for now.
---
i also got three big donations today, and am now at $1300. i still can't quite believe this. i've had some incredible people with incredible stories donate, and i just feel honored.
---
i've learned a lot today. i'm learning a lot about myself, doing this. i honestly didn't think that i would. what i thought i would (or would not) learn, i'm not sure.
but i'm glad i did this. i'm glad i decided to just go, to just start.
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Day Seventeen- 2/12/09- pings: 3
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
1-0-0-0-!
that's right!!
i made it to $1000 today!
16 days, $1000 raised. that's over $60 per day in donations.
i'm proud of myself, and justifiably so, i think.
i was going to go on walk #1 today, but it was just cold and gloomy and gets dark so fast, so hopefully tomorrow i can break in my new shoes.
obviously this is just the beginning of a much longer road, and i still have to get another $1300 just to participate in the walk. and the next $2000 probably won't come as easily. but i have a lot of pledged donations, and will be following up on all of those.
thanks to everyone who has donated to me so far. your support has encouraged me more than you know!
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Day Sixteen- 2/11/09- pings: 1
i made it to $1000 today!
16 days, $1000 raised. that's over $60 per day in donations.
i'm proud of myself, and justifiably so, i think.
i was going to go on walk #1 today, but it was just cold and gloomy and gets dark so fast, so hopefully tomorrow i can break in my new shoes.
obviously this is just the beginning of a much longer road, and i still have to get another $1300 just to participate in the walk. and the next $2000 probably won't come as easily. but i have a lot of pledged donations, and will be following up on all of those.
thanks to everyone who has donated to me so far. your support has encouraged me more than you know!
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Day Sixteen- 2/11/09- pings: 1
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
when i feel heavy metal
today was great!
in addition to getting some amazing walking shoes from rei (even if they didn't watch how i walked, as per my mom's desire :) ), i had a successful first meal out after dieting for 5 weeks.
AND adam added a blurb about my fundraising to his movie list, which garnered my two donations today: one for $100 and one for $40!! i'm only $10 away from hitting $1000 raised.
i can't quite wrap my mind around this. almost $1000 in 15 days.
my eye is on $5000. i think i'll up my goal if i'm at $3000 in june.
all i have to say is :oD
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Day Fifteen- 2/10/09- pings: 2
in addition to getting some amazing walking shoes from rei (even if they didn't watch how i walked, as per my mom's desire :) ), i had a successful first meal out after dieting for 5 weeks.
AND adam added a blurb about my fundraising to his movie list, which garnered my two donations today: one for $100 and one for $40!! i'm only $10 away from hitting $1000 raised.
i can't quite wrap my mind around this. almost $1000 in 15 days.
my eye is on $5000. i think i'll up my goal if i'm at $3000 in june.
all i have to say is :oD
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Day Fifteen- 2/10/09- pings: 2
Monday, February 9, 2009
hey, you
well, i did it.
a couple of things, actually.
and one thing i did not do.
i upped my goal to $3000. i'll soon be adjusting the blog descriptions accordingly. even though it's not the end of february, and even though i haven't earned $1000 yet, i was actually inspired by the phone conference this evening. i didn't really think i would be, but i felt very encouraged.
which leads me to my other thing-i-did, i participated in that phone conference. i stayed on as long as i could, about an hour and twenty minutes, but i was meeting adam and my parents (who are in town) at the majestic crest to see slumdog millionaire. adam and i had seen it already, but wanted to see it again, and i'm glad i did. even better the second time around. like sweet cold pizza. i was so anxious at the start of the film for the end, just because i like the last part of the film so much. and even with the tremendous hype, i think it still holds up very, very well. it really is just a damn fine movie.
and finally, i donated to myself. the thing-i-didn't-do was get a ping today from anyone, and since this was day 14, 2 weeks of fundraising, i didn't want to go out on a whimper, so i donated to my own worthy cause and rounded myself up to nice $850.
i've been in a really good mood lately. not sure why. perhaps a combination of reading cakewrecks, the sick new franz ferdinand box set i got (so, so wonderful), the random other stuff i've ordered online (including, finally, a pedometer that will, hopefully, actually work correctly), reconnecting with the families i babysit for, getting myself all organized for this walk with a binder and a three hole punch, mailing out "please donate to me!" cards, actually making a fundraising thermometer (and making that mercury go to $3000!) to stick up in my hallway-facing window at work, or just the general feeling of wanting to get to my fundraising goal sooner, so i can up it to $5000!
or maybe it's because i didn't have to sit in traffic on the way home. and that it's still raining.
it's the little things.
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Day Fourteen- 2/9/09- pings: 1
a couple of things, actually.
and one thing i did not do.
i upped my goal to $3000. i'll soon be adjusting the blog descriptions accordingly. even though it's not the end of february, and even though i haven't earned $1000 yet, i was actually inspired by the phone conference this evening. i didn't really think i would be, but i felt very encouraged.
which leads me to my other thing-i-did, i participated in that phone conference. i stayed on as long as i could, about an hour and twenty minutes, but i was meeting adam and my parents (who are in town) at the majestic crest to see slumdog millionaire. adam and i had seen it already, but wanted to see it again, and i'm glad i did. even better the second time around. like sweet cold pizza. i was so anxious at the start of the film for the end, just because i like the last part of the film so much. and even with the tremendous hype, i think it still holds up very, very well. it really is just a damn fine movie.
and finally, i donated to myself. the thing-i-didn't-do was get a ping today from anyone, and since this was day 14, 2 weeks of fundraising, i didn't want to go out on a whimper, so i donated to my own worthy cause and rounded myself up to nice $850.
i've been in a really good mood lately. not sure why. perhaps a combination of reading cakewrecks, the sick new franz ferdinand box set i got (so, so wonderful), the random other stuff i've ordered online (including, finally, a pedometer that will, hopefully, actually work correctly), reconnecting with the families i babysit for, getting myself all organized for this walk with a binder and a three hole punch, mailing out "please donate to me!" cards, actually making a fundraising thermometer (and making that mercury go to $3000!) to stick up in my hallway-facing window at work, or just the general feeling of wanting to get to my fundraising goal sooner, so i can up it to $5000!
or maybe it's because i didn't have to sit in traffic on the way home. and that it's still raining.
it's the little things.
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Day Fourteen- 2/9/09- pings: 1
Sunday, February 8, 2009
whoosh
i'm pleased that i've had 13 straight days of donations. i'm up to $820 in donations, and i'm thisclose to upping my goal to $3000.
tomorrow is the hour and a half long phone conference, where we review, apparently, everything. it'll be interesting to see how heavily we'll have to rely on our pdf handbook they emailed out, cause i'm going to be in the car, in traffic, during the call (using a headset! relax!).
i'm also interested to see if they'll be asking people if they've started fundraising, and if so, how it is going. i just want to gauge what other people's goals are, because, to be honest, i'm not sure where mine fits, if it's too high or too low. all of the promo materials for the 3-day cheerily say something along the lines of most participants earn more than the $2300 required, usually on average around $3000. i think it's $3000. maybe i'm wrong. but i just kind of want to know what other people are doing. and adjust accordingly. yeah, i'm a sheep. whatever.
also, i was writing an email today, preparing to send it to 50 people, telling them about my super awesome oscar betting pool, which, had everyone participated, would have given $500 to my fundraising and $500 to the winner(s). and just as i was about to hit "send", i decided to google something like "betting pools illegal california". yeah, they're illegal. which i think i already knew. but the law turns a big ol' blind eye to the little ones in offices and stuff. of course, the bigger they get, the more likely someone will say something or something will get discovered. still, i don't think 50 people is that "big". but what i didn't know was that had i sent the email, i would've engaged in interstate gambling/something. i can't remember the technical terms. because i would've been engaging in betting across state lines, using the telephone and/or internet.
thank you, google, for saving me from possible jail time and fines. :)
(uh, and, just to be clear, i DID NOT send that email!! no oscar pools for me!!)
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Day Thirteen- 2/8/09- pings: 1
tomorrow is the hour and a half long phone conference, where we review, apparently, everything. it'll be interesting to see how heavily we'll have to rely on our pdf handbook they emailed out, cause i'm going to be in the car, in traffic, during the call (using a headset! relax!).
i'm also interested to see if they'll be asking people if they've started fundraising, and if so, how it is going. i just want to gauge what other people's goals are, because, to be honest, i'm not sure where mine fits, if it's too high or too low. all of the promo materials for the 3-day cheerily say something along the lines of most participants earn more than the $2300 required, usually on average around $3000. i think it's $3000. maybe i'm wrong. but i just kind of want to know what other people are doing. and adjust accordingly. yeah, i'm a sheep. whatever.
also, i was writing an email today, preparing to send it to 50 people, telling them about my super awesome oscar betting pool, which, had everyone participated, would have given $500 to my fundraising and $500 to the winner(s). and just as i was about to hit "send", i decided to google something like "betting pools illegal california". yeah, they're illegal. which i think i already knew. but the law turns a big ol' blind eye to the little ones in offices and stuff. of course, the bigger they get, the more likely someone will say something or something will get discovered. still, i don't think 50 people is that "big". but what i didn't know was that had i sent the email, i would've engaged in interstate gambling/something. i can't remember the technical terms. because i would've been engaging in betting across state lines, using the telephone and/or internet.
thank you, google, for saving me from possible jail time and fines. :)
(uh, and, just to be clear, i DID NOT send that email!! no oscar pools for me!!)
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Day Thirteen- 2/8/09- pings: 1
Saturday, February 7, 2009
under the wire
should i even write when i've nothing to say?
except that i've had twelve straight days of getting a donation!!
i know it's not always going to be like that, but why can't i try?
i've been talking to myself, yes, myself, and i think if i raise $1000 by the end of february (i think i was initially saying by feb 15th, but i'm pushing it back), i'm going to raise my fundraising goal to $3000. i think i could do it. i know i could do it.
upcoming fundraising plans:
-make some treats for the office for valentine's day with the tagline of "have a cookie, but give some dough"... this isn't a bake sale, just a little reminder for people to give money. (side note: i've only talked face-to-face to a few people in the office about this. i just feel sort of awkward wandering up to people and being like, "hey, how's work going? yeah? um, can you give me money?" i know i'll probably have to do this eventually...)
-oscar 50/50 pool... i was thinking $20 entry fee, $10 to me and $10 to the pot. i'd hold this amongst my friends, and also a second one at the office.
i have the first 'getting started' meeting (which is actually a phone conference) on monday, so that should be interesting. i was just thinking how annoying it was that nobody has written me back about training walks in los angeles, when i remembered that i never sent the emails asking about them. whoops.
there's still time.
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Day Twelve- 2/7/09- pings: 1
except that i've had twelve straight days of getting a donation!!
i know it's not always going to be like that, but why can't i try?
i've been talking to myself, yes, myself, and i think if i raise $1000 by the end of february (i think i was initially saying by feb 15th, but i'm pushing it back), i'm going to raise my fundraising goal to $3000. i think i could do it. i know i could do it.
upcoming fundraising plans:
-make some treats for the office for valentine's day with the tagline of "have a cookie, but give some dough"... this isn't a bake sale, just a little reminder for people to give money. (side note: i've only talked face-to-face to a few people in the office about this. i just feel sort of awkward wandering up to people and being like, "hey, how's work going? yeah? um, can you give me money?" i know i'll probably have to do this eventually...)
-oscar 50/50 pool... i was thinking $20 entry fee, $10 to me and $10 to the pot. i'd hold this amongst my friends, and also a second one at the office.
i have the first 'getting started' meeting (which is actually a phone conference) on monday, so that should be interesting. i was just thinking how annoying it was that nobody has written me back about training walks in los angeles, when i remembered that i never sent the emails asking about them. whoops.
there's still time.
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Day Twelve- 2/7/09- pings: 1
Friday, February 6, 2009
it's protective coloring
pre-dating this entry again, because i was too tired after getting home from 'coraline' to write last night.
i had finished reading the book a mere hour and a half before seeing the movie, and i think that caused some problems, because i was so upset by the end of the movie that i couldn't even speak.
and that's annoying to me, not the not speaking bit, but the being upset that the movie was different from the book bit, because i have always been of the opinion that a book and it's subsequent movie interpretation are two different pieces of work, not to be compared to one another. i think that adam was right, that i just had the book so fresh in my mind that i couldn't help but be upset by all of the very drastic changes.
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sort of spoiler alert! i hate having things spoiled for me (and it's happened twice with the harry potter series) so i am alerting you now. and doing jump cuts on blogger is obnoxiously complicated involving style sheets and the like, so this is what you get instead.
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but mostly what got my blood boiling was the inclusion of a male sidekick. in the book, coraline does just fine on her own. obviously she gets some help from the ghosties and the cat, but her ingenuity is all her own. her cleverness is all her own. and her heroism is all her own. but just as the movie is winding down, just as coraline finds herself in the most gravest of all dangers, her male sidekick comes out of nowhere, out of the blue, to save her at the last minute.
are. you. kidding. me.
i looked around the theatre at all the little kids in the movie (which, if i were 6 would probably have scared the crap out of me, they did a fabulous job of upping the terrifying factor of the other mother), and i thought, well, here is another movie that shows men will save you in the end.
through gritted teeth i explained this to adam, who "didn't get it". and i wouldn't expect him to. when you're the dominating party, you see things through that filter. i've got plenty of filters, white filter, college educated filter, vegetarian filter, etc. everything seems normal that way, when the things you see reinforce your filter. but look at it through the eyes of a little girl. a little girl who sees coraline as a hero, as smart, funny, clever, brave, strong, adventurous, and she is indeed all these things, and then at the very end, she is saved by a boy, a boy who she doesn't even like that much.
why couldn't they have given her a female sidekick? why did they have to give her a sidekick at all?
the last big scene in the book was so fun, and while sort of predictable, it highlighted coraline's transformation from uncertainty to downright unflappability. (not to mention that this scene in the movie wasn't properly set up at all and thus wasn't as spooky or dramatic.) by letting her friend save her at the end, it just becomes another one of those movies.
i'm so disappointed in animated children's movies as of late. i love pixar as much as the next person, but it really irritates me that they have yet to create a movie based around a girl. sure, jessie was a big star, but the movie was still about buzz and woody. just look at them: ratatouille, cars, bug's life, finding nemo, monster's inc, wall-e, etc etc etc. sure, they each have a female character, or a shell of one, but there is never any female title character. the girls are always sidekicks. (even though eve was pretty bad-ass.) the girls in kid's movies (and, to be honest, a lot of adult movies) are always almost an ancillary thought, thrown in to get some women to feel like they have a reason to see the movie.
so, you might say, why am i upset that the girls are usually sidekicks, but in coraline's case, her sidekick is a boy and she is the lead? because he had to save her at the end. because they couldn't let this powerful girl save herself, which she does in the book in a wonderful way. they couldn't let the girl win.
and relating this back to the walk: for centuries, as i understand it, women's medical problems were sort of swept under the rug. they weren't discussed in public, they weren't something that anybody should know about. they gave silly names to real problems, to make women feel silly for feeling that way, to make women feel stupid for feeling that way, to make women feel like it's all in their heads and that there was no real reason for feeling that way.
and now, it's 2009, and i'm talking about walking with thousands of people in one city, participating in a walk that will be taking place for weeks before and after in other cities, walking under the banner of "breast cancer". a "woman's disease". (not in actuality, but i think most people think of women first when they hear "breast cancer.)
thousands upon thousands of women, men, children, old, young, everything, will walk for miles to raise awareness, money, and support to fund prevention, research and, hopefully someday, a cure. they will don pink, they will have names for their teams involving words like "boobs", "titties", "breasts", etc. for three days, for many weeks, breasts will be at the forefront of many, many people's minds. we will celebrate the women and men we have lost, the women and men who survived and the women and men who are still fighting. we will share stories about these women and men, about our encounters with them. we will listen and we will learn, and maybe some of us will think back to 50 years ago, 100 years ago, when a woman who had a disease would've been locked up away in the attic of a house without any support, without thousands of walkers, without sincere medical attention, with nothing to do but to stare at the wallpaper.
and maybe, for once, the women can save themselves.
-----------
Day Eleven- 2/6/09- pings: 1
i had finished reading the book a mere hour and a half before seeing the movie, and i think that caused some problems, because i was so upset by the end of the movie that i couldn't even speak.
and that's annoying to me, not the not speaking bit, but the being upset that the movie was different from the book bit, because i have always been of the opinion that a book and it's subsequent movie interpretation are two different pieces of work, not to be compared to one another. i think that adam was right, that i just had the book so fresh in my mind that i couldn't help but be upset by all of the very drastic changes.
=======
------------
=======
sort of spoiler alert! i hate having things spoiled for me (and it's happened twice with the harry potter series) so i am alerting you now. and doing jump cuts on blogger is obnoxiously complicated involving style sheets and the like, so this is what you get instead.
=======
------------
=======
but mostly what got my blood boiling was the inclusion of a male sidekick. in the book, coraline does just fine on her own. obviously she gets some help from the ghosties and the cat, but her ingenuity is all her own. her cleverness is all her own. and her heroism is all her own. but just as the movie is winding down, just as coraline finds herself in the most gravest of all dangers, her male sidekick comes out of nowhere, out of the blue, to save her at the last minute.
are. you. kidding. me.
i looked around the theatre at all the little kids in the movie (which, if i were 6 would probably have scared the crap out of me, they did a fabulous job of upping the terrifying factor of the other mother), and i thought, well, here is another movie that shows men will save you in the end.
through gritted teeth i explained this to adam, who "didn't get it". and i wouldn't expect him to. when you're the dominating party, you see things through that filter. i've got plenty of filters, white filter, college educated filter, vegetarian filter, etc. everything seems normal that way, when the things you see reinforce your filter. but look at it through the eyes of a little girl. a little girl who sees coraline as a hero, as smart, funny, clever, brave, strong, adventurous, and she is indeed all these things, and then at the very end, she is saved by a boy, a boy who she doesn't even like that much.
why couldn't they have given her a female sidekick? why did they have to give her a sidekick at all?
the last big scene in the book was so fun, and while sort of predictable, it highlighted coraline's transformation from uncertainty to downright unflappability. (not to mention that this scene in the movie wasn't properly set up at all and thus wasn't as spooky or dramatic.) by letting her friend save her at the end, it just becomes another one of those movies.
i'm so disappointed in animated children's movies as of late. i love pixar as much as the next person, but it really irritates me that they have yet to create a movie based around a girl. sure, jessie was a big star, but the movie was still about buzz and woody. just look at them: ratatouille, cars, bug's life, finding nemo, monster's inc, wall-e, etc etc etc. sure, they each have a female character, or a shell of one, but there is never any female title character. the girls are always sidekicks. (even though eve was pretty bad-ass.) the girls in kid's movies (and, to be honest, a lot of adult movies) are always almost an ancillary thought, thrown in to get some women to feel like they have a reason to see the movie.
so, you might say, why am i upset that the girls are usually sidekicks, but in coraline's case, her sidekick is a boy and she is the lead? because he had to save her at the end. because they couldn't let this powerful girl save herself, which she does in the book in a wonderful way. they couldn't let the girl win.
and relating this back to the walk: for centuries, as i understand it, women's medical problems were sort of swept under the rug. they weren't discussed in public, they weren't something that anybody should know about. they gave silly names to real problems, to make women feel silly for feeling that way, to make women feel stupid for feeling that way, to make women feel like it's all in their heads and that there was no real reason for feeling that way.
and now, it's 2009, and i'm talking about walking with thousands of people in one city, participating in a walk that will be taking place for weeks before and after in other cities, walking under the banner of "breast cancer". a "woman's disease". (not in actuality, but i think most people think of women first when they hear "breast cancer.)
thousands upon thousands of women, men, children, old, young, everything, will walk for miles to raise awareness, money, and support to fund prevention, research and, hopefully someday, a cure. they will don pink, they will have names for their teams involving words like "boobs", "titties", "breasts", etc. for three days, for many weeks, breasts will be at the forefront of many, many people's minds. we will celebrate the women and men we have lost, the women and men who survived and the women and men who are still fighting. we will share stories about these women and men, about our encounters with them. we will listen and we will learn, and maybe some of us will think back to 50 years ago, 100 years ago, when a woman who had a disease would've been locked up away in the attic of a house without any support, without thousands of walkers, without sincere medical attention, with nothing to do but to stare at the wallpaper.
and maybe, for once, the women can save themselves.
-----------
Day Eleven- 2/6/09- pings: 1
Thursday, February 5, 2009
i just had to see how the chemicals taste
it's hard to write an entry every day when your life consists of:
wake up
eat
dress
drive
work
eat
drive
eat
undress
go to bed
you can be pretty certain that there are other events, like watching tv, playing with franklin, wasting hours online, and watching tv. but seriously. i have a very unbloggery lifestyle. i think my lifestyle is only suitable for blogging with those year end surveys, because i can answer things like "are you fatter than last year? richer? happier?" without having to explain that i change into pajama pants almost instantaneously upon returning home and i eat dinner on the couch. and see, that sentence is sooo not good for blogging.
they say 'write about what you know', but what i know is that schedule above. oh, although, today it was raining really hard, and as i was driving home, a branch fell from a tree and landed in front of my car. it was dark-ish and i can't really see well-ish and i totally thought a bird had just fallen from the sky and landed right in front of me. i thought it was an eagle or a phoenix or a falcon or something huge and wing-y and impressive. yeah, it was a branch, which i drove over.
and speaking of birds, yesterday i flipped the bird to a guy who pulled out of a hidden driveway and almost hit me. why did i flip the bird? because he was driving a lime green del sol. and was shirtless. seriously? people drive shirtless? at 6 pm on a wednesday night? leaving a film school parking lot? trust me, you would've given him the bird, too.
who i'm not giving the bird to? people who have donated to my fundraising!! another one today! so far, no days missed. gotta keep up this momentum so i can raise my goal to $3000.
another non-bird-getter: my dermatologist, for saying that i don't have to get stitches on my face and that i can wait for 3 months and see if the spot grows back (at which point, yes, it will have to be completely removed and stitched up), and for giving me free samples of amazing cleanser to help my poor norwegianed eczema and for offering me a free facial (is that an insult?).
also who doesn't get the bird is jet blue, for letting me go to new york in may for dirt cheap, and for franz ferdinand for having shows there, and for friends telling me about said shows!
but that naked bro in the del sol? definitely gets the bird.
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Day Ten- 2/5/09- pings: 1
wake up
eat
dress
drive
work
eat
drive
eat
undress
go to bed
you can be pretty certain that there are other events, like watching tv, playing with franklin, wasting hours online, and watching tv. but seriously. i have a very unbloggery lifestyle. i think my lifestyle is only suitable for blogging with those year end surveys, because i can answer things like "are you fatter than last year? richer? happier?" without having to explain that i change into pajama pants almost instantaneously upon returning home and i eat dinner on the couch. and see, that sentence is sooo not good for blogging.
they say 'write about what you know', but what i know is that schedule above. oh, although, today it was raining really hard, and as i was driving home, a branch fell from a tree and landed in front of my car. it was dark-ish and i can't really see well-ish and i totally thought a bird had just fallen from the sky and landed right in front of me. i thought it was an eagle or a phoenix or a falcon or something huge and wing-y and impressive. yeah, it was a branch, which i drove over.
and speaking of birds, yesterday i flipped the bird to a guy who pulled out of a hidden driveway and almost hit me. why did i flip the bird? because he was driving a lime green del sol. and was shirtless. seriously? people drive shirtless? at 6 pm on a wednesday night? leaving a film school parking lot? trust me, you would've given him the bird, too.
who i'm not giving the bird to? people who have donated to my fundraising!! another one today! so far, no days missed. gotta keep up this momentum so i can raise my goal to $3000.
another non-bird-getter: my dermatologist, for saying that i don't have to get stitches on my face and that i can wait for 3 months and see if the spot grows back (at which point, yes, it will have to be completely removed and stitched up), and for giving me free samples of amazing cleanser to help my poor norwegianed eczema and for offering me a free facial (is that an insult?).
also who doesn't get the bird is jet blue, for letting me go to new york in may for dirt cheap, and for franz ferdinand for having shows there, and for friends telling me about said shows!
but that naked bro in the del sol? definitely gets the bird.
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Day Ten- 2/5/09- pings: 1
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
pings and things
yes! another ping today! (thanks mom :oD)
things i am enjoying:
franz ferdinand's new album
coraline (almost done with the book... movie comes out on friday!)
wii fit
things i need to be doing:
um...
training.
this weekend!
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Day Nine- 2/4/09- pings: 1
things i am enjoying:
franz ferdinand's new album
coraline (almost done with the book... movie comes out on friday!)
wii fit
things i need to be doing:
um...
training.
this weekend!
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Day Nine- 2/4/09- pings: 1
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
it just keeps going
nothing much to say today. i am hopefully going to go on a walk this weekend and possibly get some shoes. i've made a new year's resolution to not buy anything with leather/animal skin, so i'll have to find some vegan shoes to accompany me on this adventure. does rei carry any? my adidas cross trainers, which are about 6 years old but in mint condition (and yes, i've used them, quite often), are leather-less, but i don't know if that's just because they were purchased on clearance at mervyns. fingers crossed.
and thanks to my boo for coming through with today's daily ping! that sounds like a lotto contest.
and thanks to cakewrecks for keeping me entertained, constantly. although i really, really, really want bakery cake right now.
lots of people fantasize about different lovers, or meeting a celebrity, or winning the lottery. seriously, i just want cake. *insert homer drool*
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Day Eight- 2/3/09- pings: 1
and thanks to my boo for coming through with today's daily ping! that sounds like a lotto contest.
and thanks to cakewrecks for keeping me entertained, constantly. although i really, really, really want bakery cake right now.
lots of people fantasize about different lovers, or meeting a celebrity, or winning the lottery. seriously, i just want cake. *insert homer drool*
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Day Eight- 2/3/09- pings: 1
Monday, February 2, 2009
on a lighter note...
thank you, telegraph.co.uk, for showing me the most hilarious thing i've seen in a very, very long awhile.
i cried more* at this website than i did at 'titanic', 'schindler's list' and 'ghost town' (it was really sad, okay?!) combined.
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
(and if you don't have hours upon hours, or properly functioning tear ducts, here are some great highlights.)
for reals.
spiderman, holiday, missed marks (toward the end, but make sure you see the dr. seuss catastrophe)... all so wonderful.
*tears of laughter. you don't think i'd really compare 'schindler's list' to bakery cakes, do you?
and, i'm at 25% raised toward my fundraising goal!! thank you to everyone who has donated. and also, officially one week since i started fundraising, and i've gotten at least one donation a day. woo!
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Day Seven- 2/2/09- pings: 1
i cried more* at this website than i did at 'titanic', 'schindler's list' and 'ghost town' (it was really sad, okay?!) combined.
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
(and if you don't have hours upon hours, or properly functioning tear ducts, here are some great highlights.)
for reals.
spiderman, holiday, missed marks (toward the end, but make sure you see the dr. seuss catastrophe)... all so wonderful.
*tears of laughter. you don't think i'd really compare 'schindler's list' to bakery cakes, do you?
and, i'm at 25% raised toward my fundraising goal!! thank you to everyone who has donated. and also, officially one week since i started fundraising, and i've gotten at least one donation a day. woo!
-----------
Day Seven- 2/2/09- pings: 1
Sunday, February 1, 2009
the bigger picture
the bigger picture is that music doesn't matter. at least, not for this.
the bigger picture is why i'm walking, why we're walking. the bigger picture can sometimes be lost amongst the little things.
i bounced around on the message boards today, and found out that you can use mini speakers around your neck on the walk, since you aren't allowed to have headphones.
for a split second, i thought "yes!" and then i stopped. how selfish am i? how wrong am i? i'm worried about not listening to music for 3 days? i'm worried about getting bored, uninspired, when i'm surrounded by thousands of strong people, thousands of survivors, fighters, memories, supporters? how mistaken am i.
when adam found a mole on my shoulder, a mole that hurt like a bruise, a mole that had never been there before...a mole that the dermatologist biopsied after a single glance, and upon receiving the results, called me back and said i needed to come in immediately, instantly, to have it completely removed and stitched up...that it was pre-cancerous...that we caught it in time...and as i was in "surgery" went out to the lobby to thank adam for saving my life...was i worried about not being able to listen to music for three days?
no. i was worried about lots of things, pain, cost, health, and how stupid i was to have skimped on sunscreen my whole life. but what i wasn't worried about was my ipod. my mole and the scar i bear from it denote my brush with cancer. there are so many more people who have been swept away by cancer. and i am complaining about not being able to listen to music.
i could've deleted the last entry. i could've justified it. but i really, really want this blog to show the ups and downs, the honesty, of someone doing this walk for the first time. i'm not trying to be self-righteous, i'm just trying to be honest.
and while i'm glad that on the walk i can indeed listen to music, or make my way through the harry potter books, i think that maybe instead i'll be listening to the people around me.
because that's what i'm there for.
honest.
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Day Six- 2/1/09- pings: 1
the bigger picture is why i'm walking, why we're walking. the bigger picture can sometimes be lost amongst the little things.
i bounced around on the message boards today, and found out that you can use mini speakers around your neck on the walk, since you aren't allowed to have headphones.
for a split second, i thought "yes!" and then i stopped. how selfish am i? how wrong am i? i'm worried about not listening to music for 3 days? i'm worried about getting bored, uninspired, when i'm surrounded by thousands of strong people, thousands of survivors, fighters, memories, supporters? how mistaken am i.
when adam found a mole on my shoulder, a mole that hurt like a bruise, a mole that had never been there before...a mole that the dermatologist biopsied after a single glance, and upon receiving the results, called me back and said i needed to come in immediately, instantly, to have it completely removed and stitched up...that it was pre-cancerous...that we caught it in time...and as i was in "surgery" went out to the lobby to thank adam for saving my life...was i worried about not being able to listen to music for three days?
no. i was worried about lots of things, pain, cost, health, and how stupid i was to have skimped on sunscreen my whole life. but what i wasn't worried about was my ipod. my mole and the scar i bear from it denote my brush with cancer. there are so many more people who have been swept away by cancer. and i am complaining about not being able to listen to music.
i could've deleted the last entry. i could've justified it. but i really, really want this blog to show the ups and downs, the honesty, of someone doing this walk for the first time. i'm not trying to be self-righteous, i'm just trying to be honest.
and while i'm glad that on the walk i can indeed listen to music, or make my way through the harry potter books, i think that maybe instead i'll be listening to the people around me.
because that's what i'm there for.
honest.
-----------
Day Six- 2/1/09- pings: 1
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