$2300

i have reached $2300 in donations!

this number is incredibly important --perhaps more so than any other-- because you must raise $2300 to participate in the walk. in 38 days, i raised $2300. that's $60 a day, on average. *pumps fists like a boxing champ*

at the back of mind, the $2300 was always lingering, like something on your to do list that you've been avoiding, and now that i'm there, i know i'm okay. i also know my initial goal of $2500 is nearby.

when i received the $150 donation that put me over the top, from one of the lawyers in our suite, i didn't even really process it. i was sick with a cold (which is now a sinus infection) and was in the office to mail some things out, and then going back home to sleep.

so i got the check, and calculated the total from my current raised amount online, plus the check donation from the day before, and this check now. $2312. 'hmm, that's nice,' i thought, in my medicated cloud. then the numbers slapped across my brain, like fat, inky characters smacking onto a typewritten page. TWO. THREE. ONE. TWO. my brain fired meanings back and forth about what those numbers mean.

it meant that i'm "allowed" to do this walk. it meant that my mom and i have both reached the participation amount.

it meant that this is real. that i'm really doing this. it meant that i'm proud of myself. it meant that i'm being supported by more people than i ever thought i would have backing me.

it meant that i'm walking for all of those names that are going to be printed on the back of my walk t-shirt. it meant that on my shoulders, on my back, i am really going to be walking in honor, memory and in support of many brave men and women who soldiered through.

have there been people dealing with breast cancer who haven't been brave? who didn't fight? who just gave in?

probably. sure.

but from all of the people who have donated, and all of the people who have given me a name to wear on the back of my shirt, not one of them has passed along a name to me with anything less than pride for that person. proud of that name, proud of what that name went through, proud that they know that person is more than just a name. more than just a statistic. more than just a number.

and that's what is astounding to me. that in this quest for "numbers", for $2300, for $3000, for the statistics that i'm learning about, for the miles i'll be walking, for the days i'll be training, amongst all these numbers emerges something much more profound. something much more human. from these numbers emerge letters.

single letters that swirl together, spin and twist, to form letters of encouragement, of love, of support, of high fives, of hugs, of congratulations, of well wishes. and behind them, in memories, the letters shared with loved ones fighting cancers. the letters shared through emails with status updates and thank you's. the letters shared written through tears of joy, and tears of despair. letters written on prayer cards, message boards, get well banners.

letters that show why i'm walking this walk, why i'm raising this money. letters that show why along the walk route, there will be supporters and cheering-on-ers to keep you going when you're not sure that you can.

letters that show that cancer, while a fact of life for more and more people, isn't an end to a life.

and with these letters on my back, taking the form of names, and with the letters on my chest, forming the name of my aunt, i will walk as proudly as the people who have been donating.

as these numbers turn into letters, the letters turn into sentences, the sentences turn into paragraphs, the paragraphs turn into tools that can make change. to help create better, stronger treatments. to encourage proper prevention and testing. to share with communities what breast cancer can do, and what we can do about breast cancer.

to create a community for change, for support, and for hope, from numbers and from letters, and from people who care.

thank you.

-----------
Day Thirty Eight- 3/5/09- pings: 1